Don't go naming your babies Barack and other good advice

Sooo... the anticipation... expectations were high....

How many of you had a tiny secret panic attack last night when you discovered that Idol wasn't on? I mean, you checked the listings like 7 times, looked at your DVR season pass listings to see where you went wrong... and then you realized that our man Obama was taking the stage last night instead. O.k. totally the only person who gets a pass for preempting Idol. Go on with your bad self Barack.

O.k. so the show tonight: well, not so worth the wait right? May have even been happier with another hour of Obama. I mean better than last week's group of 12, but still what is up with these totally whack song choices people?!? 8 freakin' seasons in and apparently no one has seen the show???? Alright, no point in making this longer belaboring that point. I could go on and on. I could also capitalize properly in this post, but tonight I'm tired, and at times - won't. Just so you know, all you language buffs out there... i know. don't go writing in about how I can't even write properly. Anyway, a lot of people singing so let's get thru this mess from tonight.

Jasmine - She can actually sing. Loved her in hollywood rounds. Super cute girl, super wrong song choice. Remember honey, potentially only 1 girl is in... and it won't be you.

Matt (or JT I like to call him) - look, this guy showed INCREDIBLE talent in the hollywood rounds. Seriously reminds you of an early, unpolished Justin Timberlake with soul, a voice and a boy band look doesn't he? Don't act like I'm the only one! I was waiting for him to bring the JT vibe tonight and was disappointed. Terrible song choice. Simon completely nailed the comment tonight... "you turned from a cool guy at the piano singing Ray Charles into a sort of wanna be pop star". Maybe he'll still make it thru on the JT factor.

Jeanine - Maroon 5????? What the heck is going on here people? Hot pants and all those vocal runs did not help you at all. Sorry. Cute and all... but even Paula could think of nothing to say but great legs. Then Simon said, horrible song, great legs. Then Randy said, the legs are hot, but I was dying over here, what's going on tonight. Then Kara said, pretty girl, nice legs, everything about it was wrong. Then Ryan says what did you do to prepare your legs for tonight?

Wait, is this a vocal competition? I'm so confused? There's no rose ceremony at the end is there? Oh yeah, I'm on the right channel.

well...maybe... cause up next is the freaky Norman Gentle. Or as I like to call him awesome drag performer who forgot his wig at home and had to go on anyway. I mean seriously I have seen some incredible drag performances in my time people. And you sir would be really, really good at it. No joke. I will hook you up with some gowns dude cause I can sew like there is no tomorrow. Used to work in a costume shop. The sad part about this guy is that he actually does have a voice and if he could sing a song without turning into Patti Lupone as Mama in Gypsy he would have had a few more weeks in this competition. Dude, call me. I will hook you up.

Is this a vocal competition? I'm still confused... After one of my favorite talking babies from E-trade commercials I'm back and still confused... until this next girl starts singing.

Allison - the one girl who should make it in this round. Ok those of you who are a little young and don't understand the great powerballad she sang by Heart... (hello!!! that's what they called them back in 1987!) well this girl powered that song out. She is so the dark horse as the judges say in her video piece. Don't even mind the flaming hair, wild get up and all. She's 16 and it's still cute on her. Now put that on a 50 year old (ala cyndi lauper) and not so cute anymore. she's maybe a little out there and wacky when she's not singing and I hope that doesn't hurt her votes. Stick with the talent people!

Kris - well, well, well... when he said he was singing Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror I actually threw up in my mouth a little. I was all WHO DOES THAT 8 YEARS INTO THE SHOW!!!??? No Michael!! But then he got to the middle and finished strong. It was a little unfunky (translation: no soul) for me but he held his own vocally. Kinda like a wedding singer version of michael jackson actually. I had high hopes for him, but he's out. Unless the girls go for the cute.

Megan - Nope. Look, the judges are all about hip, cool, different. Just not for me. Super cute girl making some sad fashion choices (put your shoes on - you're on tv!). Irritating voice.

Ok. Welder Matt - really does have an amazing voice. American Idol? No. Don't quit your day job just yet honey. Another bad song choice - sounded fine, but nothing special to it. Not sure what the voters will make of him... can't get a good reading on him.

Jesse - Bette Davis Eyes????? Why people? Why? Look, these people can all sing, but somehow here they are with their big break on t.v. and they all manage to choose these whack songs??? I'm so confused. You're finally on tv girl!! TV has finally found you!!! Here are your 5 minutes of fame... sigh... it's not working... they can't hear me.

Kai - great hair. If I let me son's hair grow out it would probably be just like that. Uhhmm, hence the reason for those clippers I invested in years ago. Ok sorry, got distracted - like me, you can stop at the hair cause there's not much else to love about this guy tonight. Shave, look like you bathed and washed your clothes before going on t.v.... like I said above... Here are your 5 mins of fame and you choose that song and look???

... they still can't hear me can they? I give up. Seriously...

Misha - now here's the thing: this girl has a REALLY good voice. WHACK, whack song choice for her and I should make this quite clear to everyone trying out for season 9 - you will NOT go far if you have already given this show a go and gotten dissed by the judges or the voters. Statistically improbable that you will end up the Idol on your second try. Anyway... she may make it through this round but not too much further.

Adam - NOW... some of you will undoubtedly think I'm all kinds of kookie in the brain, but this guy is just about the best male I've heard sing anywhere lately in a pop/rock arena. Paula is right when she says he's like watching a concert you paid to see, not an amateur competition. His voice and range incredible, he looks good, trendy, looks great on stage, I could go on and on but he's a record company's dream!! Hard to say what the voters will do with him. Mainly because many people won't understand just how incredible his voice has to be to sing that way.

All said and done, Adam and Allison. 3rd to sneak in could be Matt, Misha and Norman Gentle. Just kidding... Kris may get the cute votes and survive this cut.

I'm out and we'll see what happens tomorrow.

it is what it is.