Oh the pain of it all...

What the heck?!?!

WHAT THE.......

(((sigh))) I'm here. And you know, I started watching this season and was sooooo uninspired. I was thinking maybe this is it. You know, like when Survivor got to like island #56 or something... just not all that interesting anymore.

But then they flew their butts to Hollywood and started singing to me. Calling me back. And when Taylor Hicks strolled his Ray Charles behind down the middle of that judging room blowing some heat on that harmonica.... ya'll I knew I'd lost my mind. It was over. I was back.

So Shonda talked about the girls. And I'm with ya'... Now the boys last night... that's all a TiVo fast forward moment except for 3 people. I mean is there no advice for these boys on their song choices? That was just painful in some cases. Truly painful.

Sway... I LOVES ME SO SWAY... but honey absolutely a brutal song choice. Now get this. I liked it after I played it back a few times. But I didn't love it. And it made my ears bleed the first time I watched it. I knew Simon was gonna massacre him cause he HATES that whole falsetto thing like he hates wearing white shirts. But I think he has the lady appeal which is what drew me in after playing it back a few times. You CAN hear pretty Shonda. I think you can. (or I did anyway last night!)

Patrick - once again I love this guy's voice but the song choice was horrible. Sad really. Hopefully he won't be forgotten. I had forgotten him by the end of the show myself sadly. Not until I saw the playbacks did I go "Oh... I should remember to vote for him."

Taylor - another bad song choice for an amazing voice. Please stick to your old bluesy, r&b, old southern stuff and leave that song alone.

Ace - oh he's good. Yummyliscous and a good singer. This boy can sing his butt off and unlike the others, he selected a perfect song. PERFECT for his voice and vibe and all that was yummyliscious about George Michael was oozing out of this kid too. BUT I was feeling a little like vomiting when he channeled Constantine at the end. I HATED that Constantine thing. If you're listening honey I have some advice: For the love of God Ace drop that crap now!

HHhhmmm... my rocker dude Chris. I loved that number. First of all I love that song. Yep, I love a little rock just like the next girl out there. And I love this boy for some reason. Rough and rocker, but not all Joe Cocker kinds of weird like Bo was. (Oh don't all act like it's just me who felt that way about Bo. Ya'll know you thought that too.) Clean cut, rocker. Doesn't get any better - in a rocker sort of world.

And the best of the show in my opinion: Elliott. The best male voice no question. Crazy soulful white boy with a last name like Yamin? HUH?!?! Go on with your bad self! But let me say this... he does not have what Ace and Sway have... the looker thing. Spend some of your first recording contract dollars on some dental work baby. It's o.k..... I'm still voting for you all the way.

Best 2 moment of the show: For all you TiVoers... go back and watch Patrick's performance. Just the end and through the judging when they show "Patrick's Friends" caption under 2 of THE scariest, freakiest people who look every bit of 55 years old cheering him on in the audience I've ever seen in my life. I played that back over and over again. My remote is worn out. It's a better audience moment than Fantasia's pimp looking, gold lame shirt, fedora wearing daddy ever was. SCARY. I'm not so sure the woman isn't a drag queen... and that's o.k. if she is... but I'm sorry, don't go to support your friend getting his big break on AI in bad drag. That's just a tip. (And don't go writing me about how I'm a drag queen hater... cause I sooooo am not. But I do give sound advice about social situations and t.v. camera moments - drag queen or not. Get your hair and makeup done professionally or something is all I'm saying!) O.k. I couldn't help it. I just ran back to my t.v. and watched it again. Oh stop! Just stop the madness. I can't stop laughing.

O.k. the 2nd great moment was when Simon told that freaky Gedeon character that his smile was scary, creepy or whatever it was it was just flat out howling F-U-N-N-Y.

Alright. That's my take on things right now for the guys. Results are coming on.

I'm out.