It's sweeps week ...

So if you haven't heard by now let's talk about it.

This week's ABC Primetime is scheduled to be some big 'ol American Idol expose special. They're dishin' all the dirt on relationships between the judges and contestants (Paula). And reportedly we'll hear a rehashing of all the corrupt American Convict Idols that have made the show - the cocaine snorting Bo, shoplifting Trenyce, sister beating Corey, domestic violence Scott, pornography working Frenchie. You know, some of our favorite contestants from over the seasons.

Dissing the Idol?!? WHA...?!?! In the name of all that is sane and holy with AI you try to bring the evil?!?

Whatever.

Personally, I can't wait! I can't wait. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!! We just like to see some gossip don't we? And we can put to rest all those nagging questions - that we ALL KNOW the answers to already but choose to ignore cause AI is such good entertainment. Come on. Whose going to be shocked by anything here. It's FOX people! FOX.

F - O - X in case anyone forgot. The same FOX that airs things like midget bachelors. Yeah. O.k. Some of you watched that show too didn't you? I know you did. It's o.k.

While it's being reported that FOX is standing ready to sue the pants off ABC if that expose airs, I'm not all that sure this isn't just standard legal crapperoony. Really people.... in an age when scandal means more viewers, not less, I think FOX would be secretly laughing and saying bring it on. Pump up our ratings even more.... oh wait we're already running 2 and 3 every single week whooping your nielsen butts. But there is talk of the possibility that FOX will dump it's 9pm programming to move Idol into the time slot so that it airs up against the Primetime Live special so there is a little concern there. But why?

There is the possibility that the Paula mess may be some sort of FCC violation which will put the show in trouble. It will be the game show scandal of this era. FOX is reported to be "quietly investigating" the FCC matter themselves at the moment. This may be the thorn in their sides in this whole ordeal. They aren't afraid of the negative publicity. But if the show prompts an FCC investigation... now that's a whole nother mess. Cause what would we do without American Idol people?!?! Can you even imagine!?! Idol cut, gone, over... what will we talk about half the year?

I'm out.

guess what ya'll?

Shonda called me just as I was finishing up the Idol results show. I told her the show would be "SHOCKING, SHOCKING, SHOCKING!!!" And based on your reactions below... I was right. Boohoohoo all you Constantine lovers. Get it all out now cause this week was the last time we'll see him whining and grinning and posing and faking his way around the Idol stage.

But guess what?

I'm not crying.

GOOD RIDDANCE YOU FAKER!

That whole thing was one big "look at me everybody I'm a cute heart throb trying to get into show biz, please love me and put me in a movie" campaign. And now it's over. OVER!!!!!!!!!!

....alright ... after a couple of deep breaths..... I'm o.k.

Ya'll should be ashamed of yourselves. You know that boy cannot sing. Now that he's gone you can get rid of the next creepy crawler from the stage - Trach Boy.

I'm out.

Huh?

No, seriously.

Huh?

NO.

SERIOUSLY.

HUH?

Did I have a seizure and pass out? Spontaneously hallucinate? Go blind and deaf at exactly the same moment and thus, am incorrect in thinking I just saw and heard what I just saw and heard?

WHAT THE HECK JUST HAPPENED?!!!!!!!

Why is Trach Boy still on my show? Why is Down's Boy still on my show? Why in the name of all that is good and cute and vocally in tune are these people still around?

And they voted off Constantine?

I mean, yeah, he can't sing or whatever. But he's pretty. And he has great hair. And he's pretty. And fun. And so so pretty. Precious and pretty. Pretty Connie...

Ahem.

But they voted him off the show? Over Trach Boy? And VONZELL was in the bottom three? VONZELL got less votes that Scott?

All Barbie JonBenet could do was shake her head. She knew it wasn't right. She knew it was whack. And Simon had a big old smile on his face. Because his two favorites are Bo and Barbie. Ten bucks says he was up all night hitting the redial button on Barbie.

VONZELL got less votes that Scott?

Maybe it was a seizure. Maybe I fell and cracked my head and had a seizure and none of this is actually happening...