Shonda.... (I'm busy shaking my head, that's why you see no words here).
After Nikko performed and Randy and Paula gushed all over him (and you too apparently) Simon summed it up for me:
"I think I'm the only one in this audience who can hear!"
Nikko's performance was one of the worst things I've heard since... well since Travis tried to sing All Night Long. What the...?!?! A Jackson 5 song?!?! SHONDA! Snap out of it girl. See Nikko has you in a trance. Which is exactly how Travis made it so far. He fools you with all that charisma, meanwhile the song was so out of tune Michael Jackson would rather be convicted than hear it disrespected so badly. The Jackson 5 days are just as sacred as Bodyguard Whitney and that boy has no business pretending he can sing anything from them.
No business at all. Speaking on no business...
Now, Mikalah had no business wearing that hoochie mama outfit. She had on so much red lipstick and blush maybe she thought she was on America's Next Top Model... only without the model part. Poor thing. That matching red bra (under a sheer cropped sweater - WHAT?!?) hiphugger pants and boots had the vice squad waiting out back just in case she was on her way to work (on the corner). Good Lawd that girl couldn't have looked any more like Fran Drescher with that huge 80's hair and heavy makeup. Oh yeah, did she sing something? I didn't notice.
I whole heartedly agree with you - Jessica, Lindsey and Anthony - GO HOME! Lindsey honey don't you know that little satin ribbons are only tied around the necks of stuffed animals that sit on little girl's shelves collecting dust mites and taking up space. That's what you're doing in this competition: Taking up space... bye bye now.
Vonzell, Anwar and Carrie were all shell shocked and certainly not at their best. BUT... Carrie had a bit of an image boost! Did you notice?!? Super straight hair, maybe even a bit of extensions, better makeup and an up to date outfit did her well. You're looking a bit hotter girl. Go on with your bad self.
For me the fast forward group would include Nadia as well. You already know I just don't like her. She isn't all that. But that's just me.
Now the I sold out to the man award goes to Constantine. You're no rocker boy. And that drummer of yours who threw a fit on camera when you brought Ryan Secrest to tell the band you were going on American Idol knew it would happen. He knew you well didn't he Constantine. That song choice said it all. Let's take a journey inside Constantine's head ya'll..... Here's what he's saying: I better snap out of it and sing some easy listening music because I know that's the only way my voice sounds anywhere close to these other contestants. Then at the end of the song if I flip my hair and shoot that look at the camera that says "You know I'm cute" I can make it through this thing and get some fame and fortune. HHhhmmmm.... I can hear it all. FAKER!!! POSER!!!! ..... alright I'm o.k. ya'll. I'm over it. Lost it there for a minute.
Bo on the other hand is a rocker all the way. I think. I mean who sings Spinning Wheel and carries the mic around in the stand the whole time if they're not a rocker! That boy better have liability insurance doing that kind of thing. I was scared he was gonna knock some poor fool out with that thing as he's slinging it through the audience. And I think he may be getting cuter each week... ala George Huff. Well maybe I've gone off the deep end now. But I don't think so.
Now.... here's where I'm standing my ground- Scott Savol. I LOVES ME SOME SCOTT. Yes, he absolutely looks just like Bobby from King of the Hill. But I don't care. That boy can sing his butt off. He can sing. I don't care if he's wrapped from head to toe in brown suede or in a bathrobe, that boy can sing. Now... Scott honey you do need to get a bit of a personality going on here. The people gotta like you to vote for you son. Don't you get that? Call me. Email me. Text message me. I'm available for a little image consultation anytime. I can take a few vacation days to fly out and coach you. But you have GOT to get some life in ya.
Oh well... I had to get my 2 cents in. I'm done ranting. My prediction tonight: Jessica or Lindsey although it should absolutely be Bobby Brown or Fran Drescher after that horrendous performance.
I'm out.
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2 comments:
Yes ma'am, I noticed Farm Girl's makeover. It was a good one, too -- now she LOOKS like a star. Just has to get her act together more.
-- Jenny FTB Fan
well she looks better - but hardly a STAR in the heavens - i mean throwing some gold lame around her neck - and flattening her Farrah hair down doesnt quite do it - just as putting twang in a song doesnt make it a HIT darlin - she needs WORK - both inside and out and I think she is floundering. Simon won't stop pushing her but she needs to step it up SOON and fly on her own or people will join Paula in yawning her off the stage.
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