My take...

Listening to my AI3 Greatest Soul Classics......

HELLO!!!????!!!! Get online and order this CD right now if you want to hear some slow jamming old soul grooves!

If you're looking for a good head bobbing, sing along, you go on with your bad self moment and it's in a store near you do not pass it by.

Get your $13.99 together... look under those couch cushions, down in the lining of the coat with the hole in the pocket, in that console thing of your car, in the bottom of that purse you never clean out, where ever you need to.... but get it.

That's it for me. Take it or leave it.

I'm out.

No I'm not. I have one more thing to say. There is NO question in my mind that the vocal quality of Jennifer Hudson's recording is insanely better than anyone else on this or any other AI CD out to date. Just my opinion, but ya'll know she was my girl from the minute I saw her audition. The whole CD is great. I'm just saying... You go girl!

Now I'm out.

The Season 3 Album Continued...

...okay, I listened to the whole thing.

It's excellent.

Really.

The first five songs are from Fantasia, George, Diana, LaToya and Jenny FTB. Every last one is worth more than one listen. A few are worthy of car-dancing (that grooving you do while sitting in traffic on the freeway -- I LIVE for car-dancing). Amy, Sleepy Church Boy and Camile are all pretty great as well. The next tier down is Leah and Opera Boy. I judge those as...ech. "Ech" being my universal noise for not so bad but not so good either. If the song came on the radio, I'd probably turn the channel. But only if I was in a bad mood.

Much, much, MUCH further down is Spawn of Satan. Who should be barred by law from singing anything labeled as a "soul classic". But he's the one dim spot in an otherwise happy world.

The group song is "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." A much better choice than last year's "God Bless the USA." I don't know who held the stick that was used to beat these singers into a cohesive group but I thank them. It's a nice version of a revered tune.

So...that's the skinny on the whole CD. You heard it here first. Or maybe you heard it here fifty-second. But you did in fact hear it here at some point.

Ooh. Tasia's singing "Chain of Fools" again. I gotta go chair-dance...

Season Three CD...

It arrived today from Amazon! Whoo-hoo!

What? You don't have it? GET IT. It's great. Really. WORLDS better than the Season 2 album which I did like a lot. And...wait. Okay. Before I start having to make things up, let me admit one thing:

I've only listened to the first two songs on the CD.

You heard me. Haven't gotten past the second song all afternoon. I fully admit that I am continually listening to Fantasia sing "Chain of Fools" and Georgie sing "Me & Mrs. Jones" over and over again. I can't help it.

THEY ARE FANTASTIC!

Plus, I appear to have lost my mind. When I get past track 2, I'll report in on the rest.

Hasta La Vista, Satan..

If enduring a full hour of painful renditions of Gloria Estefan tunes is what it takes to get rid of Opie Spawn of Satan, then BRING IT ON AGAIN!

Look, Opie's a kid and I generally feel that it is wrong to hate on a kid. But there are exceptions. Extreme exceptions to the rule. If, for instance, the kid in question is responsible for setting loose a plague of torturous howling that burns our eardrums like so much fire. If, for instance, the kid in question is guilty of malicious singing with the intent to destroy our favorite television show.

If the kid is Goat Girl. Remember her? Season 2? She looked like Britney and sounded like a helium-infused yodeler on acid? Yes, she was 16. But she was also unquestionably one of the seven signs of the Apocalypse. I spared her no mercy. Idolranters would not rest until she was eliminated, metaphorically staked liked so many of Buffy's vampires.

Opie is the Goat Girl of Season 3. Nice kid. And yeah, the other contestants cried when he was voted off. The audience gave him a standing ovation as he wailed and warbled Music of the Heart. But I tell you, those were tears of relief. Ovations of JOY. Opie has been set free into society where he can sing at will at retirement homes and children's parties but can HOWL AT US NO MORE!!!

Ding, Dong, the Opie's gone...

(insert dance of glee here)

Now we are down to the real meat of the competition. The final five. The next to go will most definitely be Flower Girl who has lungs but not enough self-control to manage consistency from week to week. That's when things will get tricky. Because frankly, I'm not a fan of LaToya but there's no denying her talent. And Disney Girl has grown into a VERY interesting competitor. But my heart still lies with George and Tasia. They'd be my pick for the final two (now that Jenny FTB is gone -- don't get me started...) but I'm not sure they'll be America's pick.

But I'm starting to get that tingly excited feeling I get when AI begins to heat up...

WOW!

UUhhmmmm..... I'm not sure what that was and why we were subjected to it. They should have called the show off on account of illness - severe mental illness. No one could have thought any of that was worthy of air time. Come on.

Fantasia - in some kind of I don't care anymore I just "LOVE YOU JENNY!!" kind of trance on stage - took every opportunity she could to work those words into her song. And the amount of effort it took to do that obviously sapped all her energy and consequently the ability to sing in tune. I've never heard her sound so bad. Simon said she sounded like a cartoon character. She wore a colorful island dress of some sort with splits and layers everywhere and matching blue eyeshadow (and plenty of it!). And then I knew it was over when she struck some sort of off broadway pose at the end of the song as the lights flashed brightly. Hhmmm.... I thought... I hope this is not an indication of the show to come.

Oh but it was.

George - wierd in his own George kind of way. My boy George just went into his own kind of almost in tune trance trying to sing and do a strange samba step he had obviously learned 30 minutes before the show or something. I did hear that he had been quite sick though leading up to the show so take a break George, don't work so hard. I give you a free pass on this one. So that's his excuse....

But what was Latoya's?!? Wow. Shonda you're absolutely right when you say we were in bizarro world. She was also in some sort of CRAZY trance. It was like everyone said "you wanna say Jenny was bad... no, we'll show you bad!" Red dress, gold dance shoes, slicked down hair... and off she went. Dancing around like she was possessed by the spirit of Carmen Miranda or yes Shonda, Danny Tario's dance partner in the opening of Dance Fever. (Which by the way we loved back in the day) No, say it isn't so. She sounded O.k. Not great - very so what. The thing is, even if her voice had been amazing I wouldn't have know. That dance routine stuff... well it was just plain frightening and I couldn't hear her after the first few moments of watching it.

Opie - why must we continue? I'm not going to tell you he was bad. You know that. And I'm not going to tell you he should not be there. You know that too. Seacrest OUT!

Jasmine - ohhhhh... the torture continued... This was truly the most horrifying out of tune performance I've EVER heard on a stage before. And I've worked years in the biz ya'll listening to a lot of children and adult stars perform on stage. Wow. At this point I don't know what to say anymore. The only thing I can say she had going for her is that she did NOT try to dance! Is that what it's coming to?

and finally.... (thank God the last one!)

the only decent performance of the night: Diana.

Sorta. It wasn't something spectacular and all AI worthy if you're thinking that. It was just the only performance that was in tune the whole song and actually sounded the way Gloria would have wanted it. Vocally she was all there. Randy gave her props for her "mad 16 year old talent". Simon said it was a 7 out of 10...... BUT the dress was a zero. She too came out sporting some bizarre let us all pretend we're latino kind of red gown with strips of fabric hanging and breezing as she danced madly about. Wow. I don't know how many times I'm allowed to use that word in one blog... but I can't stop saying it...

WOW.

I don't know people. Snap out of the Jenny trance. She's gone. Was there some sort of weird voodoo magic swirling about her that made everyone else appear to have talent or something while she was there? Simon alluded to them having voodoo dolls backstage and sticking pins in it when Jenny performed... remember that? Maybe, just maybe he was on to something. And the stylists - insanely politically incorrect if you ask me. But that's just my opinion - of course.

Well I don't know what that was. But it wasn't American Idol. Nope. I must have Tivo'd the wrong show.

That's o.k. I'll just call it a wash and wait for next week.

I'm out.

(WOW)

Was that a joke?

Okay...

Wait.

Okay...

Wait.

I'm trying to keep it together. Trying not to-

Oh, hell. Who am I kidding?

THAT WAS THE WORST AI I HAVE EVER SEEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What was that? I ask you, what WAS that? Crap. That's what that was. C-R-A-P. I love Gloria Estefan. I do. What with her Miami Sound Machine and her bus accident recovery and her acting skills...okay, not a fan of straight hair Gloria but still. Gloria rocks. Gloria grooves. Gloria was J-Lo before juicy booties were hip.

Which is what made the show so very, very, very bad.

There is something desperately wrong with watching other people sing Gloria's songs. There should be a law. Because let's face it...Gloria's songs seem to work for only Gloria. They don't sound well with other people. Did you hear Music of the Heart? Being butchered? Did you? Dear God, my ears were bleeding. And to dedicate that nasal howling to his grandmother? For shame. Spawn of Satan needs to return to the Hellmouth of normal society and leave the rest of us in peace.

As for the rest of them...who cared? That was my overwhelming feeling. So boring. Except for LaToya who seemed to be under the mistaken belief that she was auditioning for Dance Fever instead of for the American Idol. THAT was funny. Or scary. Depending on how many glasses of wine you'd had to drink first.

It was like we entered Bizarro world. A world where none of the good singers even exist anymore. Where we'll spend the next six weeks being tortured.

Help.

I miss Jenny FTB.

Yawn...

I'm halfway through the show.

Love the latin music.

Hate the performances.

Miss Jenny FTB deeply...

ONE MORE TIME...

Jenny FTB was not voted off because of racism.

At least, not in my opinion.

I was simply stating the theories floating around out there. I'd hate for any of you to think we are A) into shouting racism at the drop of a hat or B) trying to increase the hate. All I'm doing is telling you what people are saying. I don't agree that racism played a part in Jenny's ousting any more than I believe that backfat or plastic dolls did.

I told you my theory: in order for a diva to win, a diva had to go.

Once again, we do NOT believe that Jenny was voted off because of racism.

I love the letters we get. Keep 'em coming.

To quote Fantasia: People are talkin'...

Everywhere I go people are talking about it.

The woman who was hoping I would hire her brought it up in the middle of the interview. Ten minutes, she ranted. "What in the WORLD is going on when Jennifer Hudson is voted off AI?" She said that people become too comfortable with the top singers and thus, forget to vote for them. Laziness, that's the center of her theory.

I was buying overpriced gas and the two men waiting by their car were discussing Diva-gate in detail. One suggested that Jennifer's plus-size form was the cause of her dismissal. "She was coming out of her dress!" Backfat, that's the center of gas guy's theory.

My (Caucasian) gym buddy came to brunch on Sunday and, while playing with my baby, voiced her disgust with America. "The current political climate makes it seem okay to be racist! Why else would three black women be in the bottom three? White people have to get it together and vote on talent alone!" George Bush, that's the center of her theory.

Three women at the pediatrician's office noted that Jennifer was arrogant and that Tasia had no business being a teen mom with a toddler. "These girls are NOT role models." I had to hold myself back from pointing to their kids playing with a certain leggy doll and screaming, "Like Barbie is?!" Plastic dolls, that's the center of their theory.

Everybody has a theory. The New York Post, E! Online, the LA Times, even the AP wire ran a story.

Jennifer, in particular, and AI, in general, are now a part of the fabric of the cultural zeitgeist.

Whoa.

AI is bigger than all of us.

A little something to read...

Well... we are obviously not the only people talking about this insanity. Obviously. Here's an article of interest: on E News.

Since I Can't Bring Myself to Boycott the Show...

Next week's theme is Latin Music. Guest judge? Gloria Estefan.

Should be interesting. At the very least, we can assume that Opie Spawn of Satan will show us just how crazy America was to vote him through. And we can only hope that he pulls a Sleepy Church Boy-sings-Elvis and gets voted off the show.

A lot of articles have been written about the ousting of Jenny FTB. Most interesting are the theories that Mother Nature is to blame. Tornadoes ripped through the midWest on Tuesday leaving Jenny's fan base without power to watch the show or telephone lines to vote.

I don't know. I still think she suffered from being one diva too many.