I want to take a moment to discuss some AI season one alums -- Tamyra and Justin.

Now, I love to look at me some Justin. Mmm mmm, he is afro-licious. But the boy is not exactly what I'd call a singer -- unless you put in quotation marks. "Singer." Not that I don't enjoy him and not that he isn't head and shoulders above many of the finalists we endured this season. But it's not nice to make him follow Tamyra Gray.

Tamyra ain't just a singer; she's a SINGER. Capital letters. And her rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" reminded us all of a) how robbed she was last season, b) how much better she is than Kelly Clarkson and c) how, even though this year's group of finalists is stronger than last year's, Tamyra is better than all of them put together.

Frankly, she made beautiful Justin look like a beautiful amateur. I'm not a big Boston Public fan but her version of "I Will Always Love You" was BETTER than Whitney's (it's blasphemy to say it but it's true).

Now her album is an album I'll stand in line to buy (or at least I'll point my mouse to the Amazon one click purchase button -- who stands in line anymore?).

A big shout out to Jonathan, a reader who e-mailed to pose what might be the most pressing question:

"Does this mean that in September we are going to be forced to sit through American Idol 3 spots promoting [the film] "From Ruben to Clay?"

Oooh. It's a frightening thought, isn't it? Sends chills up my spine.

No mo' K-Lo.

Oh well. We all knew it would happen. Although I was personally rooting for some kind of big upset. Just to shake things up a bit. But honestly, who DIDN'T know from the beginning that it would come down to Ruben and Clay?

The soft gooey part of me truly felt all warm to see how close the top three finalists have become. Clay was crying for Kimmie in the end. Did you see? Wasn't it sweet?

But the hard cynical part of me was like, AS IF! They ain't there to make friends, they are there to make money. Show BUSINESS, not show friends. All the smiles are fake. Behind the scenes, they are at each other's throats. And in the end, Clay was crying only because he was relieved he was going to the finals.

Of course, my cynical side is very, very small. Clay, Ruben and K-Lo really end each day holding hands and skipping into the sunset.

At least, that's how I like to picture it.

Bye bye my K-Lo. I will miss your killer high heel boots and your straightened, highlighted roots (ooh, that rhymed -- sorry). I'll miss getting real close to the TV, breath held with worry, as I nervously check you for visible back fat and too much booty. I'll miss cursing the stylist who talked you into those bad outfits.

What I'll miss most of all is the sight of a full-figured intelligent young woman using her talent and not her bod to streak past Blond Ho Girl and Goat Girl and even Diva Girl to reign as the #1 female on American Idol.

There may be hope for America yet.

And so the axe has fallen tonight...

at least it has on the East Coast!

We'll talk about it later when you late comers to the party have arrived.

I'm out.

From: Shonda
Date: Wed May 14, 2003 4:08:58 PM America/Los_Angeles
To: Sandie
Subject: Telling It Like It Is

The performances were great. Sandie broke it all down for you. And I have to say, that I completely agree with her. So I'm not gonna waste my time repeating what she said in my own words. Why should I? I'm a busy woman. Instead, why don't we talk about another part of last night's show. The other side, the dark side, the seamy underbelly that is American Idol. The part that really matters to us all, deep down in places we don't like to discuss at cocktail parties. Some call it trash talk. Some call it gossip.

I call it TELLING IT LIKE IT IS.

1) What was up with Paula's hat? Was she 8 years too late in trying out the gangsta look? Was she covering up a bad hair day? Was she listening too much to the same stylist who told K-Lo it was okay to wear those skin tight gray pants? Or perhaps she was trying to divert attention away from her mouth. Because her mouth was spilling some incomprehensible crazy talk. "You are like Sarah Hughes!" "You make everybody SMILE!" "You're so cool, Clay!" Every! word! had! an! exclamation! point! Did she pop one too many Xanex pills last night? Or has the stress of sitting between two realists who she knows would NEVER have picked her as the American Idol simply sent her over the edge. I'm so glad the show's almost over. I need time to recuperate from the cheerful nails on a chalkboard whine that is Paula's voice.

2) Quentin Tarantino. Quentin. Why are you there? WHY? I've said it before and I'll say it again: famous people with fading careers should have their butts at home trying to figure out how they can engineer a comeback. They should NOT be sitting in the audience of AI smiling for the cameras. Get to typing a new screenplay, Quentin! Although, even if he weren't a has been, I still shudder at the sight of him screaming, "205!" on my beloved AI. That man put the "ism" in racism -- I don't care how many Jackie Brown movies he makes or how much he loves him some Ruben.

3) Can I just pause here to give a shout out to Simon for telling the audience to shut up? The best part is, Simon yells SHUT UP and they all hush, like he's Ghandi or something. Fools. That's when you're supposed to yell even LOUDER. But Simon's got us all under his surly control.

4) The K-Lo name has caught on. I'm not saying that we started it ('cause we didn't). I'm just saying that one day we called her K-Lo in the blog and the next they are mentioning it on AI. Coincidence? Okay, yes, it is. Because no way me and my sister are that powerful. I can dream though...

5) Was it just me or has Ryan been subtly trying to push his own agenda while asking America to vote? First it was all, "Poor little Goat Girl. Goat Girl needs your vote. Please call in for Goat Girl." Then it was, "He's a Marine! He's a Daddy! He's everything you could dream of! Call in for him to show your patriotism!" Now, it's "Clay's so good and kind and loving. And he wears interesting suits and sings 50s Rat Pack songs! Vote for him!" KNOCK IT OFF, RYAN!

6) This isn't a dis but did y'all notice that Clay is like a poster child for wholesome goodness? He works with special needs kids, his Idol is his Mama, he works so hard to please his fans...can we put him on a Wheaties box already? Should we set up a shrine? The Church of Clay? And I'm telling you, this boy probably has NO seedy skeletons in his closet. He's so full of down home apple pie good sweetness that alone that the only thing in his closet is...well, his repressed homosexuality. But that's okay. He'll figure it out sooner or later.

That's all.

In the words of somebody famous whose name I can't remember: if you can't say something nice about somebody, come sit by me.

All that and a still a bag of chips... revisited.

So... last night's you pick, I pick, we all pick extravaganza of a show went just as I expected pretty much. The contestants picks were hot, the judges picks were perfect for their voices and the random spin the wheel of death pick (as I like to call it even though it was simulated by picking a song out a a bowl (yeah, right)) was just hit or miss Say What Karaoke style. Even though I didn't LOVE, LOVE all the performances, it was still overall a very good show musically. Let's break it down:

K-Lo: in my opinion (and that's really all that counts isn't it people?) K-Lo had a hot, cold kind of night with an overall vote of warm enough to still love. I have to say that I agreed with Simon's assessments: Not stellar, but good. Brilliant. Very good. How interesting was it that miss diva got to resurrect Band of Gold? We love that. Warm performance, nice vocally and can I say how much I loved the look. LOVED that black skirt, boot combination with that style of jacket on her. Great look and good performance. I wasn't blown away like the fab Frenchie/K-Lo duet of old, but it was good. Song #2 judges pick: hated the song, but it was admittedly a very good fit for her voice. She sounded very good -BUT - I had a flashback to Tamyra last year. She got voted off because although the fans knew she had a total diva voice and presence she sang a song that noone could relate to or get into. This is how I felt about this song. Slow, old, boring, couldn't get into it. I hate this, because she sang it brilliantly! Oh well. Stylist note: I hated this outfit. Once again bad fit on the pants and the top. Too tight and you went there again with that nasty pale pink that only accentuates what she wants to camouflage. Just over that line guys - get it right. Song #3 - well at least the stylists got it right with this one. Can I say how much I loved those wide leg, floaty pants on her?! Great choice. The song was very good as well. What I was concerned about is that all of her songs and performances just seemed a bit "dreary" if you wanna call it that. Not bad, but something about them just didn't POP like the other two contestant's selections. I don't think she had that showstopper number this week that she needed.

Ruben: interesting, but I'm not gonna give the most popular opinion here. Look I LOVE me some Ruben. And even when I don't like a performer I can still give props to a good performance (go back quite a few archives to my kind words about Carmen and Josh). BUT last night was not Ruben's best. I heard something that bothered me during almost all of his first and last songs and believe me I've watched the show back MANY times now to confirm it - Ruben, the king of smooth, was not so smooth and out of tune on top of that. Not his best vocal performances. But I will say this, he sang the heck out of the judges choice Smile. Loved it. And so did Quentin Tarantino. Hello?!? Q - what's up with the AI evening out? I find it hilarious that this years show has the celebs all wrapped up. So much so that they're buying tickets to the show. I'm laughing over that one. See? I'm not the only one who just wants to see some good singing! So back to Ruben. Songs 1&3 not my favorite performances, but still a good night for him. I've also heard rumor that Ruben is suffering from some illness and he's being drained and affected. So was Kelly Clarkson at this time in the finals. And she pulled it out in the end... I think Ruben will too if he makes it past the brutal fans this week.

Clay: Ahhh... the great Clay debate continues. Is he Idol material or isn't he? We know he has the voice, there's no question about that. And the judges pick last night might have sealed the deal for him. He brought it all with Mack the Knife. No doubt. It was absolutely perfect for him and they so knew that. But it was DEFINITELY the Vegas, stage show sound that we've been talking about. Not pop at all. Then we have his first song... well, personally I didn't think it was horrible like the judges did, but it wasn't his best work either. A dark dreary song, forgotten words, I don't know. Not horrible though. His choice, Unchained Melody, was honestly not a thrill for me either. But it was still good. I thought he sounded great, I just didn't like it. All of the songs for him were in his element though... which is the point... it's not pop artist material. This is a soft dis though, I still love your style Clay. Stylist notes: nothing crazy, nothing freaky, back to normal. Clay makes me think of a good point about this show: How sad is it that now that we have seen their totally divaliscious performances we're jaded! Any performances like these last night that were obviously still good are only so, so to us. How quickly we expect only the best huh? Afterall they are just barely out of their teens and popped onto t.v. for the first time in their lives... just real people with a dream.

Yeah, whatever. We want it all don't we?

So what worries you this week? I'll tell you my concern: I saw an interview with Simon and another with Randy. They both said something that will probably play out. Both of their picks would be Ruben, hands down. But they suspect Clay will win it. Why? Josh's votes have to go somewhere now... and the people who were into Josh aren't likely to vote for Kim or Ruben. They would conceivably gravitate to Clay. That's their theory anyway. And I don't think it's too far fetched. So what else? Hhmm... I'm worried that this will be the end for my dear K-Lo. But it won't be the end of her career I'm sure. But then again this season has proved that it's just a toss up.

We'll see tonight won't we!?!

I'm out.

All that and a bag of chips!

Tonight's show in a nutshell.

I'm tired, but I will elaborate (and rant) some tomorrow! Yeah, baby!

Street Cred

Alright then, just bust me out on the net! I'll admit, sadly I only learned phrases like "big ups" in my adult life... never heard anything close to that in my childhood...

Did I read correctly? Did my big sister just "give big ups to...fellow baby mamas"?

Uh, hello? Not to mess with your street cred, Sandie, but...

...we grew up in the suburbs, remember?

Hee.

Big Ups

Well, first off let me give big ups to all my fellow baby mamas out there for a mother's day gone by.

And a big thank you to Gregory (once again, our dearest reader) for keying us in to the set up for tomorrow's show! He emailed us a link to an article that said that
on the show, Ruben, Kimberley and Clay will sing one song they pick, one song the judges pick, and one song selected at random. Ooohhh I can't wait. This means we get to hear them sing at least one song they can sing the heck out of - which only spells H-O-T performances! Now the song the judges pick may not be so bad because they have a specific notion also of what they'll sound good doing. BUT the random song... random? As in spin the wheel random? I mean really. That has all the makings of a great rerun of MTV's Say What Karoake! I used to love that show... Come on K-Lo show me some DIVA!

I'm waiting for tomorrow....
Waiting to exhale...

are we there yet?!?!?!

Nothing much worth posting. My sister and I are busy enjoying our respective Mother's Days.

Josh is gone, we are at peace.

At least until Tuesday.