Stop the madness!

So... If you've noticed I refrained from ranting about the results show....

The truth is I've suffered a breakdown after seeing Rickey voted off when CARMEN DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE BOTTOM 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has got to be the most insane thing I have ever witnessed, well, maybe second only to Tamyra getting voted off last year. People, people, people... I'm telling you, the viewers better get it together and fast. I mean, if Josh, Kim Lite and MADRIGAL MISHAP continue to knock off the real talent in the show I fear Simon and Randy will even lose it. I could see Randy losing patience with the barbie dolls (you know, plastic dolls that can't sing or dance and just wear high heels and smile!) on last week's show. He just couldn't deal with it any longer. He's gotten brutal! And I don't blame him.

Come on DAWG.... I mean it just wasn't good enough for me man.... No, I'm not feeling you tonight dawg...

I have nothing to say. It's too horrible. Too STUPID. Carmen remains and Ricky is gone. It's ridiculous. This show is obviously not about talent. I am bitter. I mean, COME ON. Carmen wasn't even voted into the bottom three? AS IF!

oh yeah... if you'll notice I did NOT do my trademark prediction after each performer's review. Just not feeling the mo jo as I am now in protest of the ridiculous results of the show last week! It just seems crazy to even bother trying to predict something that is CLEARLY not based on reality!!!!! So I'm not going there this week. Maybe I shall suck it up and continue with the tradition next week....

maybe

don't hold your breath!

Feeling a little better after a good show

Date: 4/9/2003 8:12:39 PM Eastern Standard Time
From: Sandie
To: Shonda

So - I too thought that this was a very good show. Liked the theme, loved the ever fabulous Lionel Richie! You go on Lionel. I'm sure Shonda, you would not admit to this even if you do remember: our 1st concert, in St. Louis - Lionel Richie and the Pointer Sisters!!!!! Lionel and Gladys Knight have been the only judges so far to give really good, constructive reviews after each performance. Hey - what was wrong with Randy last night?!?! ANYWAY... oddly enough I don't have too much hatin' to do on people this week... EXCEPT:

Kim Locke's stylists AGAIN! (let's not get confused here: I loved her performance, just dissin the stylists) Get a real job, cause this one ain't for you! I mean, sucked into those pants - brings bad images... Sucked into that shirt - even worse images... And yes, I would agree, the whole thing looked like a bluelight, polyester, 3 sizes too small, extra special, special. Not even from the Jacquelyn Smith Collection. It's really too sad. Poor girl. But I will disagree on the hair. I loved the hair this time. It was not the same version as last time, very sleek and smooth this time. I liked it. The other straight look had the "look at me trying to be cute with these little curls by my face" look. Not good. Not the same. 2 thumbs up on this hair - still like the curly/natural look as well.

Kim Lite - PLEASE VOTE HER OFF!!!!!!!! I just can't stand another week of her. It really is insane how she is cruising through this competition on her look at me I'm a blonde ho thing. I'm sorry, but I respectfully disagree with you Shonda - I think she was horrible. Sounded ridiculous singing that song. Hated it. Thank goodness the judges heard what I heard finally... now too bad they don't get to VOTE HER OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Madrigal Girl - Shonda I am peeing in my pants laughing at your comment that Blondie was killed by her performance!! I am now taking the stance as seen on banana t.v. - I refuse to discuss her anymore. Just a waste of time and energy. NEXT.


Now on the good parts of the show:

Josh - I start with him not because I think he was the best (hello?!?) but the lowest of the best! He was admittedly alright. Good in fact when he sings country. So good that I think he should be on that other show - you know the country version of AI.

Clay - he was alright. I liked it more than the judges apparently. But he stands his own anytime, any day as usual. He will not suffer in the standings from this performance. Stylist shout out: Looked much better than disco hell that's for sure!

Trenyce - loved her! Fab as usual and then Simon had to go open his ignorant mouth. She looked great, sounded great, another diva performance too. Great job. I really hope the people woke up after last week's tragic bottom 2 standing and VOTED!!!!!!!! HELLO!!?!?! Get real people she is amazingly more talented than the likes of Josh and Kim Lite!

Ruben - with all the props and love in the world man.... loved the change up in wardrobe, great smooth look in leather and all! Super smooth as butter voice as usual. No question that he's top "dawg" in this group.

Kimberely Locke - GO GIRL! She keeps rocking this competition and the voters better have gotten off their AS$%@ and hit redial about a million times to keep her on this dang show! Get a clue people... do you want Josh touring around and making cheesy movies with Ruben like Kelly and Justin are right now? Wouldn't you rather see Ruben and Kim in a remake of The Wiz??!?!

Rickey - I will be watching this Endless Love performance just as many times as the It Might be You performance - watching it right now in fact. I'm sooooooooo into Rickey, always have been. I told you a long time ago in this competition that he was the sleeper in the finals. Creeping up behind you and "bam!!" knocking you right out. The viewers seem to like him enough to have forgiven that heinous disco performance, hopefully they're feeling him even more. O.k. what's sad about this is that he is not gonna make it to the final 2 - even 3 of 4... he'll go soon. That's sad cause he has a fabulous voice. And he isn't even all that ugly anymore. I think he grows on you. Nice boy from down the way... hhhmm.... Rickey if you don't make it on AI I'll give you directions to my house... Word to the sylist: hated the look.

alright I out!

From: Shonda
Date: Tue Apr 8, 2003 9:51:37 PM America/Los_Angeles
To: Sandie
Subject: Icebergs and Endless Love

All I have to say is HALLELUJAH! At last, a decent theme choice. #1 Hits was great. And the joy of seeing Lionel Richie! It's been so long that he is officially cool again. Okay, yes, I admit to loving his song "Hello" and (I know you can attest to this, Sandie) to singing "Endless Love" over and over and over in my howling wail of a voice until I am sure my parents considered either muzzling me or kicking me out of the house. I was especially glad to see that Lionel had lost the Jheri Curl and was sporting a decent 'do (unlike our dear Verdine).

With only eight performances, the show went by really quick. That's because most of the dead wood (ie, Julia the hairdresser) is gone; we now suffer through fewer painful renditions of our favorite songs. However, there's still a few bits of moldy old dead wood sticking around...

Here's the breakdown

Clay -- was good. Not great. But good. Geek that I am, I downloaded video of his very first audition for the show and I was struck by HOW MUCH WORK went into making him over. Because he was super scrawny and ugly before the stylists got their hands on him! Whoo! I wasn't that into him tonight but I do not worry about him because we all know he'll make it to the final two. The boy has lungs and can SANG. Can I get an amen?

Kimberley Locke -- Word to the AI stylist: YOU SHOULD BE FIRED! My dear Kimmie was once again sporting the straight hair (aka Fat Head) and too tight clothes (aka Visible Back Fat and Thunder Thighs) that mark the stylist's blatant disregard for the fashion needs of the larger woman. It is WRONG to dress Kimmie in a tight shirt and tight pants. It is WRONG to make her go on stage before millions of people looking like she just stepped out of the local K-Mart. It is WRONG to make her look cow-like when she is so beautiful. There is nothing wrong with being large. There is something wrong with dressing her like a barge. That said, my girl was FABULOUS! I love Kimmie. So much so that if I ever get married, I'm going to kidnap her to sing at my wedding. I mean, she did "You jump, I jump, remember?/I'm the KING of the world!/Jack, I'm flying!" total justice.

(Is it just me or does that really bad but moving film stay with everyone so much that you find yourselves mumbling in a thick accent, "ICEBERG! Right ahead!" or "Gentlemen, it was an honor playing with you this evening" all the time? It's just me, isn't it? I'm a big huge loser geek, aren't I?)

Rickey -- The Afro, the bad song, the disco nightmare...all is forgiven as Hercules busted out tonight with a FLAWLESS performance of my song "Endless Love". The boy is good. Better than almost anyone out there. I just wish he would find a personality because he gets easily lost in the shuffle. Hopefully, people will do him justice and he will make it through to another week. I didn't even mind the weird hat.

Josh -- Whatever. He's still a fat head. He still makes weird faces when he sings. He still is an embarrassment to the United States Marine Corps as his brothers are fighting to stay alive and he's fighting to be an Idol. And he still thinks this show is called "Nashville Stars." He needs to take a walk over to TNT where he belongs.

Kim Lite -- Okay, I'll admit that she was good tonight. None of the judges liked her. But for the first time since she's been on the show, I actually heard her sing instead of shriek. And she wasn't dressed like a whore for once. HOWEVER, she still wasn't better than ANYONE else. Except for...

Carmen -- Blondie is spinning in her grave. What? You say Blondie isn't dead? Oh, yes she is! Carmen's performance killed her! GO HOME, CARMEN! GO BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL! GO BACK TO THE MADRIGALS! GET OFF MY TV SCREEN! STOP THE MADNESS!

Trenyce -- I know that most of the public hates her because her name is LaShundra and she got caught shoplifting. But Trenyce is good. Trenyce is great. All hail Trenyce! She is a diva, yes. But she's a WORTHY DIVA! America needs to RECOGNIZE!

Plus, she was wearing a KICK ASS outfit.

And last but never least...

RUUUUUUUBEEEEEEN -- There are no words. Okay, there are words. But I have said them all before. This man is a throw my panties-scream and swoon-stalk and hold hostage until the police bust in and lock my crazy butt in jail-STAR! He could sing the PHONE book. Hell, he could sing Backstreet Boys songs. He could EAT the Backstreet Boys. And still, I would love him.

Ruben-n-Shonda.

TLA.

4Ever

S.W.A.K.

You jump, I jump. Remember, Ruben?

My love. There's only you in my life. The only thing that's right. My first love...